During Scene Four
of “A Streetcar Named Desire,” Blanche and Stella are talking about the events
that took place the night before. Blanche is so desperately trying to understand
why her little sister would want to be in such a relationship where she’s
treated awfully and abused. Stella is trying to convince her that it’s not so
bad, making up excuses for Stanley as she goes. One part of the conversation really
stuck out to me. Blanche says, “But you’ve given in. And that isn’t right, you’re
not old! You can get out.” Stella then replies with, “I’m not in anything I want
to get out of,” (1140).
This
really bothers me and makes me think of all the movies, stories and personal
experiences I’ve had with the subject of domestic violence and relationships that
just don’t work out due to the same situation that Stella is in. I’ve seen way
too many movies and television shows where the couple will be so happy and in
love one moment and the next, the wife is getting wailed on or she’s being
thrown up against a wall. It’s a realistic thing that people deal with every
day. It’s pushed into our minds that just because there are a few good times in
a relationship, doesn’t make it worth staying if someone is using you as a
punching bag. I have had people in my life that stayed in their abusive
relationship just because their boyfriend bought them nice things and provided
for the children, even though at the end of the night he would get drunk and
hit her, sexually assault her, etc. Just like Stella, she didn’t see a reason
to get out of the relationship.
This
quote is just one of Stella’s that makes me ache for her. I so badly wish that I
could be in this play and talk some sense into her. I wish that I could tell
her it’s okay, she doesn’t have to stay. Nothing makes me madder than seeing a
woman, and in some cases men, stay in an abusive relationship and make up
excuses for their spouse/significant other. For example, when Stella is explaining
what went on the night before she says, “I know how it must have seemed to you
and I’m awful sorry it had to happen, but it wasn’t anything as serious as you
seem to take it. In the first place, when men are drinking and playing poker, anything
can happen. It’s always a power-keg. He didn’t know what he was doing,” (1140).
I feel like the typical response after hearing about someone abusing someone
else is, “he/she was drunk, he/she didn’t know what they were doing.” Drinking alcohol
is not an excuse to go beat up another person. It saddens me to think that this
is an actual excuse that I’ve heard people use.
All
in all, domestic abuse is a huge problem even in today’s society. It is an
issue that I don’t foresee going away. Reading this play and learning about how
Stella can just brush off Stanley’s behavior really angers me. However, it’s
something that needs to be read so others can see how ridiculous it is to make
up an excuse and make it seem okay to get abused. I wish that those out there
struggling with this same problem could get the help they need and realize it’s
not okay.
Why do you think that Blache's appeals to Stella to get out don't work? Do you think Stella would have listened to her if she wasn't so flawed herself? Statistics do show that it takes on average 7 times for someone to leave an abusive relationship, for a variety of reasons, like you mention here. Financial barriers are a huge obstacle for many people. Do you think this is part of Stella's reason to stay?
ReplyDeleteI believe that Stella is so insecure about her own self that she's afraid no one else will want to be with her. Stanley has beat her down so badly. Either that or she's so blinded by Stanley, she believes that this is a normal thing that goes on in a relationship. Blanche made a comment about how they're childhood was similar or something in that line. Maybe she grew up being treated like this? If you mean financial barriers in the sense that Stella has no money of her own, especially now that Belle Reve was lost, and no job she relies on Stanley to bring the money home, then yes. I believe this could also be a reason why she's staying. She would have no where else to go really.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Gabby; it's crazy to think how realistic it is that most partners in an abusive relationship are often too scared to try and get away from it. Domestic abuse also seems to have connections with gender roles, because Stella was stepping out of her "womanly roles" is what brought up one of the big fights in this drama. Domestic abuse is a major issue, and it's something that may not ever stop, which is saddening. This is the reality of the world we live in that many people deny so they don't have to face it.
ReplyDelete